Your Self-Defense Rock Superstore · We only accept rock hard XMoney for payments · Typical yard-size · handheld · found in a yard · Yabba dabba deals all epoch long · Free stoop over $75 · America's #1 prehistoric rock superstore · Your Self-Defense Rock Superstore · We only accept rock hard XMoney for payments · Typical yard-size · handheld · found in a yard · Yabba dabba deals all epoch long · Free stoop over $75 · America's #1 prehistoric rock superstoreYour Self-Defense Rock Superstore · We only accept rock hard XMoney for payments · Typical yard-size · handheld · found in a yard · Yabba dabba deals all epoch long · Free stoop over $75 · America's #1 prehistoric rock superstore · Your Self-Defense Rock Superstore · We only accept rock hard XMoney for payments · Typical yard-size · handheld · found in a yard · Yabba dabba deals all epoch long · Free stoop over $75 · America's #1 prehistoric rock superstore
Today's rock joke
What do you call a nervous cobble? A little shale-y.
In humor, dedicated to our MAGA friend in arms @mari_musings. Please give her a like and a hello please.
Field guide
How to hold a typical yard-size rock.
This is not training. This is a description of a hand, a rock, and the space between them. Mari wrote none of it. She was outside.
01
Grip
Fingers around. Thumb on top. Like a potato, if the potato had spent the last ice age becoming denser and less edible. Do not overthink it. It is a rock.
02
Stance
Feet apart. You are holding a rock. That is the entire tactical picture. Mari does not offer classes. She offered a rock.
03
Staging
Nightstand, tote by the door, coat pocket if the coat is serious. The Patio Flag fits under a welcome mat. We mention this as a physical fact. Counsel asked us to stop there.
04
Maintenance
None. If it gets dirty it is still a rock. If it gets wet it is a wet rock. Geological warranty covers the next several epochs.
Which rock
A short and unscientific matching.
Three questions. One rock. Mari does not stand by the methodology.
Question 1 of 3
Where do you live?
What this is not
Not a firearm. Not a knife. A rock.
Not legal advice. Counsel is a person Mari has not met.
Not edible. Do not eat the rock.
Not to be thrown at aircraft, windows, or anything you would not want a rock thrown at.
Available SKUs this week: AntiQue Edition Fighting Rock, The Driveway Standard, River-Washed Compact, The Border Patrol, Mulch-Camo Speckled, The Patio Flag, Mari's Signature, The Curb Weight, The Frost-Heave, Quartz Tactical, Stress Rock, Moon Rock.
